I had the divine pleasure of working from home yesterday, and with the 90 minutes of round-trip Metro-North time out of the equation, I was done–and, of course, home–at 5:30.

I took advantage of the bonus time by taking Little G to the playground over at Hummerville Elementary. He climbed the three steps up to the ramp he loves to run on, a 30-foot corridor on a slight incline that leads to a mad tangle of slides, tunnels and bars.

I was watching out of the corner of my eye when Little G suddenly dropped like a rock, parallel to the ground just before he slammed into the ramp. He jumped to his feet as I ran to him; he wore the WTF? mask just before his little face scrunched into prepare-to-wail mode.

As it turned out, some jackass–OK, more likely, some kid simply being a kid–had laid a branch about the size of a pool cue across the ramp’s handrails, about 2 1/2 feet from the ground. Caught up in the rapture that is those first couple steps on a playground, Little G hit the stick with his forehead at full speed, and even broke the thing in two.

I held Little G as he wailed, a small cut rising on his temple. Of course, he wanted Mommy, so we got in the stroller and headed for home.

I offered a little “special coal”– which seems to work for Thomas the Train’s boiler ache in one of Little G’s books, and often for Little G himself after he’s taken a tumble. The invisible offering helped a little.

There will be countless times when I’m at a loss to explain life’s small injustices to Little G (and, down the road, Big G) after he’s been stung by one.

This was but the first.

As of this moment, that beer, wine, cocktail or soft drink you rely on to melt away the day’s frustrations as you board Metro-North is considerably more expensive than it used to be.

Metro-North spokesman Dan Brucker says prices are up “give or take about a dollar” on beverages. “Some have not been raised in ten years,” adds Brucker.

With the new prices, top shelf liquor is $6.50, Foster’s oil cans are $4.75 and soda is $1.50. Our beloved Sam Adams is considered an “imported beer” despite its Massachusetts address, and thus costs $3.25.

According to Metro-North, riders consumed 1 million bottles and cans of beer and 1 million non alcoholic drinks on the trains last year.

I’m seeing a disturbing trend out there.

No, not Jose Reyes’ tendency to hit lazy fly balls, or the price of a gallon of gas inching toward the price of a pint of Brooklyn Ale.  

It’s the trend of commuting men wearing sneakers with their suits, presumably to facilitate walking before or after the train ride, while changing into proper shoes that spent the night tucked under the desk.

I saw three such men this morning alone: One in a fine gray suit with bright white Reeboks, one with a beige summer suit with running shoes, and one clod wearing a charcoal suit with those clunky brown things that are part sneaker and part hiking shoe.

In Trainjotting parlance, these men who so carelessly combine Armani and Nike are known as Armanikes.

I can’t quite put my finger the resurgence of the Armanike. Perhaps those suburban train station parking lots are just so crowded that some are opting to walk the half-mile. Perhaps they see their slim, mussed-hair hipster brethren traipsing around 1515 Broadway and the Shake Shack in Madison Square Park, and see that it’s OK to wear sneakers with a sport jacket, or perhaps even a suit.

Far as we can tell, ironic kicks like Chuck Taylors or Vans or Simples with a Salvation Army blazer can work. Big white Reeboks with a standard navy sport jacket–aka “the Seinfeld”–does not.

Men, rise above this. Don’t complain about your blisters, your bunions, your plantar fasciitis. If you’re making the effort to drape yourself in a good suit, dear God, go the extra half-mile and adorn your feet with something made of leather.

Your statue need not have feet of clay.

The Missus was watching a DVR’d version of Law & Order over the weekend, the much hyped one starring Robin Williams as some creepy audio engineer who calls McDonald’s restaurants and asks female employees to conduct their own strip search. (Ah, Robin, has your career really come to this? Is L&O not where all young actors’ careers start, not finish?)

The episode, the 200th in Special Victims Unit history, tipped its cap to the super-cool clip of the actors freezing in place in Grand Central.

Just as the “Improv Everywhere”-inspired freeze-out goes down, Williams’ Merritt Rook character is apprehended by Mariska Hargitay’s “Olivia” after pretending to be part of the ploy.

Regrettably, L&O, that cornerstone of NYC culture, refers to Grand Central as Grand Central Station, not Terminal, in the white block letters that precedes the scene.

Someone’s got some pretty cool, albeit raw, footage of the L&O shoot in Grand Central. Looks like Hargitay is considerably taller than Mork.

An interview with former Mets skipper Bobby Valentine in the NY Times Magazine revealed that Valentine, now managing the Chiba Lotte Marines outside of Tokyo, rides his bike to the ballpark.

Stamford’s own Bobby V is the subject of an upcoming ESPN documentary called “The Zen of Bobby V.”

Valentine also explains why a tied game would automatically end after 12 innings:

 Japan is a public-transportation society, and the trains stop running at midnight.

One can only imagine how crowded that last train must be.

Speaking of Valentine’s commute, a very good profile in GQ several years ago detailed the seemingly obsessive/compulsive manager’s mounting frustrations at the garbage he saw on the Merritt while schlepping to Shea each day.

[image: allposters.com]

We recently featured some video on the white-gloved employees in Japan whose job it is to shove people into packed subways. Someone–OK, TJ’s dad–just sent a second video of the above, and this one’s even better.

I love how the pushers initially start scanning the mass of humankind for their angles and points of leverage; they look like hockey referees waiting for the right opportunity to separate two giant Canucks ensconced in a five-minute major.

I love how the human overspill spreads several feet onto the platform, yet the men still know there’s a way to get everyone in.

I love how no one complains as they’re being violently shoved; while the clip has full audio, you don’t hear a peep of complaint, though I’m pretty sure you can hear the guy in the tan overcoat’s spine get rearranged.

Since we plugged in the Google AdSense program that delivers those wonderfully pertinent ads at the top of Trainjotting, we’ve taken a new interest in a concept we’re calling clickonomics. In short, we get paid a little somethin’ every time someone clicks on an ad; while some clicks pay literally a penny, some pay a few bucks. (Believe me, the latter are few and far between.)

And according to a new study from CyberWyre, the most expensive search term out there, based on “Average Cost Per Click,” is “mesothelioma treatment options” at a whopping $69.10 per click, followed by “mesothelioma risk” ($66.46). (Oddly, the third most valuable term is “personal injury lawyer michigan” ($65.85).  

Also in the top 10 are “mesothelioma survival rate” and “treatment of mesothelioma.”

According to Wikipedia, Mesothelioma is “a form of cancer that is almost always caused by previous exposure to asbestos.” Apparently the treatment of it is quite a lucrative business.

[image: sgisland.org]

Fun piece in today’s NY Times about musicians auditioning to be part of the Music Under New York program that sees performers jam on the subway platforms.

The 70 who were invited to audition yesterday included a cellist, violinist, a variety of guitar heroes, and one guy playing the kora–described as “a 21-string instrument fashioned from a large gourd wrapped in cowhide, with a wooden neck and handles.”

About 20 will be chosen to join the 100 currently permitted to jam underground with Music Under New York. They were judged on “quality, variety, and appropriateness for the mass transit environment.”

Each musician got five minutes on the upper level in the main concourse, across from the New Haven Departures board. One after the other, they pulled their battery-powered amplifiers up on wheelies and tried to impress the judges. Periodically, a transit police officer walked through with a bomb-sniffing dog.

I pass this house every day on my schlep to and from the train.

It’s been on the market forever, and I’m sure the owners are thinking, we priced it fairly ($559K for 4 beds in a cozy 1,500 sq ft and what illogically looks like an in-ground pool squeezed into a .11 acre lot), it’s close to the train (10 minute walk, if you hustle), why the hell won’t it sell?

Maybe I can help, folks.

MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE OF THE BLACK LAWN JOCKEY ON THE MIDDLE OF YOUR LAWN!

Folks, these things were deemed either racist or insensitive, depending on your outlook, several decades ago. Now you’ve got hundreds of people stopping by for your open house, and who knows how many thousands checking out your listing on realtor.com, which features the lawn jockey in the listing! Photo #1, no less!

I can’t tell you how tempted I am to steal that thing in the middle of the night.

Great, now TJ is a suspect when the thing actually does get stolen.

From Port Authority:

PATH TRAIN SERVICE SUSPENDED TONIGHT ON 33RD STREET LINES

PATH service between 33rd Street and the Journal Square and Hoboken stations will be suspended in both directions through this evening due to signal and power cable damage caused by a small manhole fire east of Christopher Street Station. There were no injuries.

PATH stations at 33rd Street, 23rd Street, 14th Street, 9th Street and Christopher Street stations will be closed this evening. PATH will operate regular service on its Newark to World Trade Center and Hoboken to World Trade Center lines, and also will operate between Journal Square and Hoboken stations. NJ Transit will cross-honor PATH tickets at Penn Station New York and Penn Station Newark. PATH passengers also can use the New York City subway system to pick up PATH service at the World Trade Center Station. An update on when the system will resume normal operations will be provided as soon as possible.

http://www.paalerts.com/recentalerts.aspx