CHATTERBLOX: CHAT urr BLOKS \noun\: The act of covering one’s mouth with one’s hand while speaking on the cellphone on a crowded train.

Usage: I was getting the stink-eye from my fellow riders on the 5:46 to North White Plains while talking to my boss on the cell, so I threw up the chatterblox and everything was cool.

FREMIX: \FREE miks\ noun: The aural overspill from a fellow subway rider’s portable musical device, usually identified by thumping bass grooves.

Usage: I turned off my iPod on the 6 train because the Jay-Z cranking from the guy across the train’s headphones sounded better than the Wang Chung I was listening to.

LATRAINIAN TOMLINSON \laa TRANE eean TOM lin sun\ noun: The guy you see juking and jiving past commuters in Grand Central as he sprints to catch his train.

Usage: I tore my ACL yesterday after taking a shot from a LaTrainian Tomlinson as I walked to catch the 6:26 to Spuyten Duyvil.

HAT&T TRICK: \HAT trikk alt. HAH tee nn tee trick\ noun: Getting three cellphone calls over the course of a single ride on the train.

Usage: This doofus next to me on the train from Dobbs Ferry scored the HAT&T Trick before we were even out of Yonkers.

TRAIN COUPLINGS /TRAYn CUPP lings/ noun: Spouses who ride the train to and from work together each day.

Usage: I had to sit behind this cheesy train coupling who smooched and talked about their kids all the way from Mt. Kisco to Grand Central.  

JACKIE JOYNER-JERSEY /JAKK ee JOYN er JERRZ ee/ noun: A woman sprinting through Penn Station to catch her New Jersey Transit train.

Usage: I almost got mowed down by this Jackie Joyner-Jersey in a short skirt and sneakers as I made my way to the 6:17 to Morristown.

[photo: Melissa Mathis]

UNFARE: \UHNN fayre\ noun: The extra $3-$5 Metro-North charges a rider for buying a ticket on the train.

Usage: I fought with this nasty conductor this morning on the 8:16 over the unfare, and ended up getting escorted off the train by cops at 125th.

TRAUMADINEJAD \TRAW ma DINN eh JAHD\ noun: The extra traffic stress felt by car commuters when a controversial world leader is in Manhattan.

USAGE: I caught all sorts of Traumadinejad on the FDR Drive because that Iranian president dude is at the U.N.

PERISHING SQUARE \PARE ish shing SKWAYR\ noun: The site at 42nd and Park where bad and often fatal decisions are made to dash through traffic for a soon-to-be departing train in Grand Central.

Usage: Like Napoleon at Waterloo, Frank met his demise at Perishing Square while trying to catch the 5:52 to Mamaroneck.

CROSSING THE HUDSON \KRAWS ing the HUDD senn\ verb: Shaving precious seconds off one’s commute by taking a shortcut through Grand Central’s Hudson News to avoid going around it.

USAGE: I was cutting it mighty close to catching the 5:24 to Larchmont, so I opted for crossing the Hudson, even pretending to be interested in purchasing a copy of In Touch so as to avoid suspicion from the manager.