I’m seeing a disturbing trend out there.

No, not Jose Reyes’ tendency to hit lazy fly balls, or the price of a gallon of gas inching toward the price of a pint of Brooklyn Ale.  

It’s the trend of commuting men wearing sneakers with their suits, presumably to facilitate walking before or after the train ride, while changing into proper shoes that spent the night tucked under the desk.

I saw three such men this morning alone: One in a fine gray suit with bright white Reeboks, one with a beige summer suit with running shoes, and one clod wearing a charcoal suit with those clunky brown things that are part sneaker and part hiking shoe.

In Trainjotting parlance, these men who so carelessly combine Armani and Nike are known as Armanikes.

I can’t quite put my finger the resurgence of the Armanike. Perhaps those suburban train station parking lots are just so crowded that some are opting to walk the half-mile. Perhaps they see their slim, mussed-hair hipster brethren traipsing around 1515 Broadway and the Shake Shack in Madison Square Park, and see that it’s OK to wear sneakers with a sport jacket, or perhaps even a suit.

Far as we can tell, ironic kicks like Chuck Taylors or Vans or Simples with a Salvation Army blazer can work. Big white Reeboks with a standard navy sport jacket–aka “the Seinfeld”–does not.

Men, rise above this. Don’t complain about your blisters, your bunions, your plantar fasciitis. If you’re making the effort to drape yourself in a good suit, dear God, go the extra half-mile and adorn your feet with something made of leather.

Your statue need not have feet of clay.

BIRDS OF A PLEATHER /BURDZ uv a pleth urr/ noun: Couples seen in airports wearing (often matching) track suits designed for maximum comfort on long flights.

Usage: I  saw a couple heavy-set birds  of a pleather  in JFK wearing cheesy matching purple track suits; wouldn’t you know it, I ended up in the  middle seat, right between  their fat vinyl-covered asses.

We have an extra-special Word of the Week this week because, unlike the usual ones that are a peek into the dark recesses of TJ’s brain, this one’s a peek into actual conductor slang. It comes from Bobby of the Metro-North conductor blog Derailed. Bobby is perhaps better known as the Conductor to the Stars.

iPOD RUNNER /I podd RUN nurr/noun: A train passenger who didn’t hear the conductor’s announcement to walk forward to exit the train because they had headphones on.  

Usage: “Hold the doors, we have an iPod runner coming up from the rear.”

BATTLE OF THE MIDWAY /BAHT ull uv the MIDD way/ noun:  The non-verbal jockeying for ownership of the empty middle seat between occupants of the window and aisle seats on a three-seater.

Usage: The guy in the window seat had his briefcase in the middle seat on the 8:22 to Valhalla, but I kept moving parts of my Times over until we ended up sharing the space.

If you google Roger Clemens’ new favorite word “misremember”–go ahead, do it–the #11 link to come up is none other than Trainjotting’s Word of the Week. Ahead of Trainjotting are media heavyweights that include MSN, Fox Sports, Slate, the Onion and Dictionary.com.

Pretty cool, huh?

URINALYSIS: \YOU rinn al is is\ noun: Careful inspection of a surprisingly open seat on a crowded subway for bodily fluids or spillage.

USAGE: Against all logic, there was an open seat on the uptown 6 during rush hour, but upon closer inspection, someone had clearly marked their territory.

SPURNSTILE /SPERRN style/ noun: A subway turnstile that prevents you from entering the station, either because it’s malfunctioning or because there’s a flood of exiting passengers blocking your way.

Usage: I missed the F train at 2nd Avenue after a freakin’ spurnstile blocked my path.

ROWKILL /ROH kil/ noun: Train passengers who dawdle in the aisle next to their seat as others attempt to find a seat.

Usage: This fat-ass was blocking the aisle on the 5:46 to Spuyten Duyvil, so I turned him into rowkill.

STENCHBENCH \STENNCH-bennch\noun: The almost always available trio of seats directly across from the toilet.

Usage: I was a little late boarding the 7:22, so I had to sit on the f***ing stenchbench.