Category Archives: Open Letter

An Open Letter to:

The Buffalo Wing Eating Slob on the 5:46. Sir. This is your second appearance on An Open Letter to, and that’s two too many. Just 2 1/2 months ago, I chastised you for consuming your chicken wings with blue cheese … Continue reading

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An Open Letter To:

The a capella quartet on the downtown R train yesterday. I was heading back to work after a long midtown lunch. I was out of my routine (lunch/NY Times Sports at desk) and therefore off my game a bit. You … Continue reading

Posted in Open Letter, Subway Musicians | 1 Comment

An Open Letter To:

The guy holding up the line on the stairs at Hawthorne station because he was playing Connect Four on his smartphone. Sir. It was the end of the long workday, and we all just wanted to get down the stairs … Continue reading

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An Open Letter To:

The guy chowing the stankin’ buffalo wings on the 5:46 yesterday. I boarded right before we left and went from car to car looking for a seat. I smelled you even before I entered the car, the odoriferousness of your … Continue reading

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An Open Letter To:

The woman carrying the inflated pool raft in Grand Central today. It is noteworthy that you picked the first day of autumn on which to lug a 7-foot long inflatable raft–the type commonly seen floating about in swimming pools–around Grand … Continue reading

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An Open Letter To:

The greaseball with the “Mets Suck” t-shirt on at Hawthorne station this morning. Geez, where to start? I came down the stairs to the platform, a bit groggy after an extended break. You were sitting with your girlfriend on the … Continue reading

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An Open Letter To:

The Baby Who Snubbed Me on the Track 38 Ramp This Morning. I was climbing the ramp to the Grand Central Concourse after exiting the 8:43 out of Hawthorne on Track 38. You were clinging tightly to your mother, as … Continue reading

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An Open Letter to:

The jogger who perspired on me at 34th and Park Wednesday evening. I was making my way to the 5:46 out of Grand Central, and you were jogging (or maybe it’s pronounced yogging?) on the sidewalk, heading south. We were … Continue reading

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An Open Letter To:

The kid selling lemonade on 5th Avenue yesterday. I was heading down 5th in the Flatiron, and you and a young pal were hawking lemonade from the step of a storefront. You and your chum were about 7; he wore … Continue reading

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An Open Letter To:

The woman who muttered a sarcastic “thank you” to my back after I cut her off at the 28th Street stop this morning. First off, Ma’am, I don’t think I was really, truly in the wrong. It’s the slow approach to … Continue reading

Posted in 6 train, Open Letter | 1 Comment