MTA board guy Mitchell Pally, the Long Islander who railed against drinking on the train, only to find none of his fellow board members felt the same way, was at it again in yesterday’s Times. In an Op-Ed called “Dry Run,” Pally rails against the “terrible practice” of the MTA selling alcohol on train platforms and the occasional bar car. “This willingness to encourage drinking on trains is tantamount to giving people alcohol while they are driving.”

Pally then makes the issue one of public policy. In short, he says, those drinking on trains make for a miserable ride for everyone else. “One would not drink in someone else’s house without being invited to do so and without taking into account the wishes of everyone else,” he says. (Uh, didn’t Pally go to, like, college?)

“We similarly should take into account the wishes of others who are on the train,” he continues. “After all, if passengers wanted to be around drinkers, they would go to a bar.”

And if they wanted to be around book-readers, they’d go to Barnes & Noble. And if they wanted to be around a Muslim guy saying his prayers, they’d go to a darn mosque.

As Trainjotting readers know, I’ve got a pretty fair nose for bad train behavior. And as I enter my eighth month of daily riding, I can honestly say that of all the bad behavior I’ve witnessed, I don’t know that any of it has been related to people drinking.

People can engage in bad behavior without the booze, thank you very much.

Ladies and gentlemen, let out a collective exhale: according to a scoop from William Neuman in the Times, the consumption of the occasional (or even frequent!) alcoholic beverage will continue on Metro-North. 

Months ago, an MTA board member/ninny named Michael Pally suggested the MTA ban alcohol to safeguard the Authority from lawsuits levied by drunken passengers hurting themselves on their drive home from the train. But an overwhelmingly negative response from riders–and apparently zero support from his fellow board members–shot down Pally’s schoolmarmish notion.

Neuman mentions a “thick sheaf of petitions signed by what officials estimated were thousands of commuters” defending their right to drink. (Uh, how come no one asked me to sign?)

While I really haven’t seen any bad displays of drunken behavior on the trains in my seven months of riding, Neuman digs up some interesting stats. The cops issued 287 tickets on Metro-North and Long Island Railroad for drunken disturbances last year (I’ll bet my monthly mortgage payment the majority went to Strong Islanders), and there were 994 cases of people needing medical help on the train after drinking too much, though most of the drinking surely took place in the city before boarding the train.

Anyway, raise your Sam Adams or your airplane bottle of Chard in honor of the news, and throw your trusty platform barkeep–he of the 97% favorable review–a buck.

The massive, rock-eating Tunnel Boring Machine has arrived in the States after its long sojourn from Italy, and will soon commence digging under Manhattan in an effort to connect the Long Island Railroad to Grand Central.

The 200-ton TBM was shipped in pieces and is being transported to Long Island City, where it will be reassembled underground.

A press release on the MTA website offers one detail the daily newspapers seem to have overlooked: not only will Long Islanders traipse through the hallowed halls of Grand Central, but Metro-North riders will have the option to commute into Penn Station (where I hear there’s a fine-dining establishment called “McDonald’s” that apparently puts Michael Jordan’s to shame.)

Dig it, baby.

Two things from last night that I just can’t seem to wrap my head around.

1. Was walking toward Madison Square Park from the east when I stumbled upon a sleek white Ford sedan, like the old Crown Victoria undercover cop cars that would sneak up on you when you were a teenager up to no good. The car was virginal white, except for a blue MTA logo and the word “Bus.”

Bus.  That concerned me. What does it mean when our city’s transit authority thinks its car is a bus? (Gratuitous Steven Wright reference: If the door is ajar, is the window a spoon?)

2. On the 11:08 night train last night, a rotund guy with white stubble had a bag of popcorn from Zaro’s. With the regularity of a metronome, the guy shoveled handfuls of popcorn into his mouth all the way from Grand Central to points past Hawthorne.

Only his shoveling mechanism was out of whack, because three square feet of floor below him was covered with kernels that missed his mouth. They clung to his chest, his train pass holder, his stubble. And all the while, he just kept shoveling popcorn in the general direction of his mouth.

What does this guy’s freakin’ house look like?

One of the better ideas to bubble out of the MTA in recent years has been the addition of musical acts at Penn Station and, I presume, Grand Central. The scheduled performers are uneven, but generally are of far higher caliber than the unlicensed buskers who previously plied the crowds, hoping to shake loose a few bucks with syrupy versions of “Fire and Rain,” “Wild Horses,” or—God help me—“I Honestly Love You.”

In the nook where I await my train, the concert rotation includes a Joni Mitchell-like heart-bearer who strikes me as a few blossoms short of a bouquet; an organ player who inexplicably includes an Eric Carmen cover in his play list; an extremely talented rock and blues guitarist who I hope will move on to better things; and, best of the bunch, the Ebony Hillbillies, a duo of African-American men who reel out some fine country, bluegrass and countrified versions of pop hits on their banjos and fiddles. It’s the best entertainment for a $1—if you’re generous—that you’ll find outside of the quarter video parlors. Or so I’m told.

I tend to stand quietly and listen as I munch my post-work pretzel, but I’ve been astonished two or three times to see fellow commuters sufficiently moved to dance. I’m not talking about a subtle hip sway, or maybe a few steps that slip out before composure returns; one guy, in what looked like a Brooks Brothers suit, offered a full Martha Graham number. Call me cynical, but I think alcohol was involved.

Anyways, as much as I love catching the overflow from someone’s iPod, or listening to the mellifluous announcements of the trains preceding mine, the dash of complimentary music is one of the nicer touches of commuting.

As expected, the MTA announced last night that it will step up police patrols on trains, platforms and in parking lots. MTA CEO Lee Sander said MTA police will be joined by federal marshals from the TSA, the fine folks who protect our airways.

Look for–well, don’t actually look for–uniformed police on board, as well as plainclothes cops and marshals too. The MTA security director said random bag searches may occur as well, so, ya know, leave the Mary Jane at the office.

Caren Halbfinger of the Journal News has the details here.

There was a very smart, very well-reported story in yesterday’s “Westchester” section of the NY Times, in which Ken Belson analyzes the age-old conundrum of, with readership growing on the Metro North, LIRR and whatever the Jersey people take, why does the MTA have such trouble finding the money to meet the needs of its riders?

Some tidbits Belson unearths: Once the Jersey fares go up this year, they’ll be paying an average of 18.3 cents a mile. Sound high? It’s not, as Metro North riders pay 20.3 cents and LIRR pays 20.7 cents.

There was also a money quote, so to speak, from an Anthony Cariglia from Little Silver, New Jersey. As befits a man from a town called Little Silver, Cariglia was wondering how he was going to find the funds to cover a fare hike. “I guess I’m going to have to cancel HBO or start drinking cheaper beer,” he said.

With Sopranos starting in a matter of weeks, I’m guessing Cariglia opts for the Meister Brau.

According to yesterday’s Times article, the MTA is some $1.4 billion over budget on a five-year plan to overhaul subway and commuter stations, extend the 7 train line, and build the elusive 2nd Avenue subway (the ETA for the latter is around 2096, according to Trainjotting estimates).

 Perhaps the only positive is that the budget woes also appear to affect linking the LIRR to Grand Central, so hopefully we won’t have to share GCT with Long Islanders until after I retired in 2037.

Mike tackles the grave issues facing commuters in today’s Metro NY paper (the free green one): http://ny.metro.us/metro/blog/my_view/entry/Life_liberty_and_a_cold_one/6626.html

Life, liberty and a cold one

my view by michael malone

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JAN 23

As a Metropolitan Transportation Authority task force considers banning alcohol from commuter trains, I think of Samuel Adams. No, not the patriot who rallied the colonists against tyranny in Great Britain. I think of the bottle of beer I buy each Friday after work before boarding my train….