Tue 30 Jun 2009
Classifying The Subway Crazies
Posted by TJ under Hot Seatmates, Subway
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The writer Una LaMarche, whose name roughly translates to “Million Man March Minus 999,999 Men”, says it’s OK to laugh at the crazy people on the subway. She also says it’s OK to lump them into six categories (or “silos,” in modern corporate speak).
Una offers her six categories on the New York version of Huffington Post. They are: The Bullseye, The Self-Talker, The Provocateur, The Religious Fanatic, The Slow Burner and The Jester.
Complete descriptions are offered on HuffPo. I’ll save you a click and offer The Provocateur here:
The Provocateur
The Provocateur is a self-talker gone bad–he or she hones in on a victim and whispers, mumbles, or yells provocative insults and threats. Sample dialogue:
Provocateur: YOU DON’T KNOW ME.
Victim: [Shifts uncomfortably].
Provocateur: YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME? IN YOUR RED JACKET.
Victim: [Changes seats].
Provocateur: WHY YOU RUNNING AWAY, BITCH?
The best course of action when faced with a Provocateur is to change cars. Be warned: the truly crazy may follow you.