A small sampling of the Google searches people used to end up on Trainjotting. 

If you’re looking for Don Draper in drag and a popped collar, you’ve come to the right place.

“zoo yorkers cockroaches”

chick pees her pants st patty’s day

pete seeger teeth

tj prostitution  

gif files guinness beer brilliant

face burned off acid subway

horse man on f train

no pants men

wearing tuxedo with sneakers when i heard the train coming, i pulled my fool head back

double meaning of i’ve been working on the railroad

wicker seats erie lackawanna cars

black lawn jockey as racist symbol

drag queens rentals connecticut

jose jose jose jose jose jose shirt

obsessed with don draper

phlegm monster

railroad industry standard of 5 minutes 59 seconds late

vampire weekend popped collars

the guy wearing four popped collars

john rockers crotch

Yes, it’s time for that weekly Friday TJ-can’t-be-bothered-with-blogging search engine bacchanal known as What the Kids Are Googling?

Just what where the 1,000-odd–and we do mean odd–terms people Googled before ending up on Trainjotting this week? Here are but a few.

delta lost suitcase

freddy krueger pedicab

nice sections if mt vernon

songs about commuting

suit with popped collar

valhalla face slapping

vomit comet

u2 kmart astor place

bounce like youve got hydrolics in your g string

don draper ossining, ny

the most boring story to read to go to sleep

kid paid 20 million for solving the lirr gap

ladeis milf groped in bus

naked puke

curse of the highline

dirty amtrak blanket

michael bloomberg demonologist

why does metro north run slowly between 125th and grand central?

bring your own chair

sex on trains, club

midtown east nyc man wears fur coat top hat platform shoes

A sampling of what people Googled to end up on Trainjotting this week. What do we learn from it? Don Draper would never wear sneakers with a suit.

black drag queen sex

hummerville

matt lauer bathroom paper towel floor

railfan honk

smurf car seat covers

sneakers with suit

suit with sneakers  

bad blonde drag queens

walking to work in suit and tennis shoes

where does don draper live

curly hair milf

how to get to 30 rock from grand central [Editor’s Note: Practice, practice, practice!]

man face acid accident ny

to slide on something slippery four letter word

why does my ear pop when the train is going to queens

all my senses are being tortured simultaneously

is there a bathroom on metro north trains

snake on a train movie train sex

google sneaking booze on the train

draper house ossining

how to wear sneakers with suit

photos of commuting men reading papers

do transvestites lose their head hair

Google.

Hi Google. Sorry to hear the broadband-in-China thing didn’t fly, and sorry to bother you as you attempt to take over the world in other ways.

But I’ve noticed the Google Adsense revenue I get from those ads you serve up at the top of Trainjotting has slowed to a trickle. Mind you, it was never much to speak of; calling it “revenue” may be a bit flattering. But it was enough to cover a Sam Adams on the train every now and then, and maybe a cup of java for the likes of humble correspondents JerseyJim and Straphanger Joe.

But the past few weeks, Google, it’s been like a penny a day. Literally a penny a day. Why? Because you’ve been running an ad for your Nexus One smartphone every day, and no one clicks on it! People click on those random mom-and-pop banners that tell you where to go when you need a good DWI lawyer or a “doctor” to fix your ailing back. Those things grab you. They don’t click on your self-serving ads as you elbow your way into the cellphone market.

Google, your stock is like 540 bucks. You’ll someday digitize the world’s books and you already know more about our personal lives than our loved ones. I’m sure your Nexus One will be the next iPhone, China will eventually kneel down before you, and someday we’ll all be commuting across Planet Google to work for our local Google branch office.

In the meantime, can I please get my mom-and-pop ads–and resultant beer money–back?

Respectfully,

Trainjotting

Just a smattering of what people Googled to end up at Trainjotting this week.

betty boop ipod nano skin

guy pushed me on the g train

john rocker crotch

pleasantville central woman found dead in school

sweating profusely wearing tie coat on subway train in summer

trainjotting [Editor’s Note: Yay!]

why is nj transit so slow

black lawn jockey for sale

best wiffle ball field

don draper’s house cost

drunk girls having sex on subway trains

old gals

scary fat “black drag queens”

snakes on a subway

where is the bad part of mamaroneck

white horses wont drag me away

“morning train (9 to 5)” chords

lightning mcqueen sneakers

milf blow lawn boy

4 popped collars guy

weeble wobble train

And finally…

worlds most boring stories

Yup, we got those here.

In the last six months, we’ve received 704 visitors who found Trainjotting after Googling “train sex.”

Thank you, Tom Cruise, Rebecca De Mornay and our stellar search engine optimization.

A random selection of the Google searches that brought you, dear reader, to Trainjotting this week.

I can’t wait to see what sort of ads Google selects based on this post.

dogs ride train, russia

drag queen 8″ heels

how to curse people out

how to sex on a train  

jackson heights trannys

maria bartiroma fat

amtrak cockroach

arnold diaz bathroom

budweiser girls topless

girl from beer money

popped collar trend

feel sick and dirty more dead than alive

joey buttafuocco massapequa ny street address

milf strippers in london cost

orgy on vomit comet

tickly feeling foot leg

knicker mishaps

milf in sneakers

A sampling of what people Googled to end up on Trainjotting this week–folks sure were in a randy mood the last few days.

A Starbucks gift card–and a ‘curly hair milf’–to the reader who best weaves all of the below into a short story.

black lawn jockey for sale

breathe strips in new delhi

cheap mr.tickle

harlem girls topless

getting freak on

funny things conductors say on the new york subway

“prostitutes forty years white blonde hair in a cockroach house”

maserati sneakers

mole people

bipolar express

don’t pay this guy a beer

double popped collar videos

where does the name plaxico derive from

sneakers with suit

sex on a train

sex in train

assman 11 thriller

curly hair milf

lost my knickers on the train

mad men where draper lives

tj prostitutes

I am endlessly fascinated by my Google Adsense program, an algorithm that shoots out text ads based on the words that appear on my blog, then sends me a check to cover my on-train beer money every six months.

Apparently someone has told Mr. Google Algorithm that there’s a serious crisis going on in the American economy, and countless commuters on Metro-North are feeling levels of despair not seen since Metro-North made a special stop at Hooverville in the late ’20s.

Check out the ads I’ve seen up there the last few days:

Boy, I’m feeling tremors just reading those ads.

A Google display booth was present, if not open for business, when I passed through Grand Central yesterday morning–located between, I think, Track 23 and the Hudson News just off the center of the concourse.

Later, chief Googlers Sergey Brin and Larry Page conducted a press conference from GCT explaining how Google Transit would “transform the experience of navigating New York City’s transit system,” says the New York Times.

Gov. Paterson, taking a break from lambasting the LIRR over their disability follies, was on hand.

It appears Metro-North and the LIRR are not part of the Google program, at least for now. Writes Sewell Chan of the Times:

The tool — which encompasses the transportation authority’s subways, buses and two commuter railroads, along with the PATH and New Jersey Transit commuter lines — appears far more sophisticated than existing online trip planners like Trips123, a site that was built with public financing.

It also seems to offer a key distinction from previous services: Users do not need to search specifically for transit information. Instead, they are shown transit routes, stations and stops even if they are merely searching for, say, a bagel store.

Interestingly, I noticed a Google Transit ad atop this very blog earlier today, the first time it has run. The ad program is Google Ad Sense, so perhaps it’s not that surprising.  

It’s Google’s world. We just ride subways in it.