Gary Shteyngart

While author Gary Shteyngart made multiple references to hopping Metro-North between Scarsdale and Grand Central in his debut novel The Russian Debutante’s Handbook, he may focus on the Long Island commute for his next literary endeavor.

The young Russian novelist mentioned at a dinner party recently how Massapequa would be the setting of his next novel. He originally wanted to have it set in Hicksville, but felt no one outside the tri-state area would believe that Hicksville was a real place.

Frankly, Massapequa–known ’round these parts as “Matso-pizza” and the hometown haven of such talents as Jerry Seinfeld, those Baldwin brothers and Joey Buttafuocco–also leans perilously close to the unreal.

Some 150 pages in, I really like The Russian Debutante’s Handbook for a number of reasons, such as the immigrant Russian Vladimir’s gimlet-eyed take on America, his descriptions of Challah, his zaftig dominatrix girlfriend, and Gary Shteyngart’s author photo, a hobbit man-boy seated on a curb with a baby bear on a leash.

I also like that Russian Debutante’s name-checks Metro-North more times than any book in recent memory. Vladimir’s striver parents ended up in Scarsdale when they arrived in the States, and Vladimir frequently makes trips from his dodgy Alphabet City apartment to his folks’ place in Westchester, where they own “one of the world’s most expensive backyards.”

“Vladimir was conveyed from village to city by the 8:12 p.m. Metro-North local train,” Shteyngart writes.

Later, “Vladimir was reminded of their high school days: Vladimir and Baobab taking the Metro-North Railroad home from the math-and-science high school after a long day of subtle rejections by young women and men alike, discussing better ways to lodge their suburban selves into Manhattan’s starry firmament.”

The Massapequa Debutante’s Handbook?

Russian to Catch Metro-North

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