Metro-North is poised to hike up the price of a cocktail on both its bar cars and the carts stationed near the platforms in Grand Central. The railroad is “seeking approval from the Metropolitan Transportation Authority board of directors to raise prices…to keep pace with inflation.”

Metro-North’s booze sales represented $607,000 in profit last year, approximately 63% of it from me.  Metro-North estimates it sells a million beers and 250,000 bags of chips in a year.

The MTA board will vote on the matter–a joint request between Metro-North and Long Islang Railroad–Wednesday, and the price hikes would go into effect May 8. Perhaps more daunting, the railroad is also “seeking authorization to raise prices each September at the rate of growth in the consumer price index… without seeking board approval.”   

The new price list would see a domestic beer jump from $2 to $2.50.  

As Metro-North has left us with precious little to grouse about these days, we had to dig deep to satisfy our complain quote.

So we turn to beer selection.

While we’re unfailingly grateful to be able to enjoy an adult beverage on the evening train (or the morning train, if that’s what the day calls for), it’d be even nicer if Metro-North’s booze selection was shaken up (or stirred, for that matter) every once in a while.

See, we get a bit tired of the same old Bud bottle/Bud can/Bud Light/Miller Genuinely Bland Draft/Sam Adams-if-it’s-payday beer selections.  How nice would it be if Metro-North took a page from the hospitality industry and went with seasonal selections: A nice Sam Winter Lager around this time of year, a little Negro Modelo in early May, perhaps a wheat beer come summer. Keep the Bud family intact, but offer up the premiums for a little extra.

Further borrowing from the bar biz, maybe Metro-North could import some attractive bartenders to work the Grand Central beers stands, flash you a quick smile with your beer, make you think they really truly dig you and want to ride the 5:46 to White Plains home with you. It’d be a far cry from the men in bowl cuts and baby blue MTA shirts currently hawking brews.

Just a thought.

Since surely half the American population has a beer in their hand right around now, we thought we’d offer up an adult beverage-themed post. After passing it while sprinting to the train several dozen times, we had the unique pleasure of actually stopping and enjoying a few al fresco drinks at Pershing Square last Friday.

What made it so uniquely pleasurable? A number of things. For one, it’s literally about 60 feet from Grand Central. They’ve closed off the western side of Park Avenue between 41st and 42nd for the outdoor cafe, so one gets to experience an outdoor drink in Manhattan without cars rushing by, with about a 60-second walk to one’s train.

Another reason, and we’re clenching our teeth as we write this next sentence, is that pints of good beer are only $6. Indeed, the word “only” should not precede the mention of $6 beers until at least 2023, but we expected worse. After all, a premium pint in an outdoor setting of a commuter/tourist-friendly place in midtown Manhattan might fetch eight bucks or so. So we were pleasantly surprised to only plunk down $6.

We scored two tables, met friends, had a few drinks, and still had Little G home before the sun went down (mind you, our nightlife has very little “night” left in it anymore). And every time the bambino grew bored, a quick trip to the corner of 42nd–cop cars, buses, fearless pedicab drivers–seemed to snap him out of it.

Trainjotting gives the outdoor cafe of Pershing Square a full 4 pints of Brooklyn Lager out of a possible 5.

Sir,

I hadn’t noticed you until I heard the clink of beer bottles stemming from your seat. You were pouring a full bottle of Corona into an empty bottle of Corona. I couldn’t figure out why, until I saw the wedge of lime in the bottom of the empty bottle. You like the citrus flavor in your beer.

You, sir, had knocked off that second Corona before we’d even pulled out of the tunnel around 100th Street, and were on to your next quarry, a Heineken tall boy.

But that’s not why I write. You, sir, are a model of booze-consuming behavior. Because, as the train pulled into White Plains, you rounded up each and every of your empties, even bending to pick up a scrap of paper you’d left behind.

When your seat failed to flip up (it was one of those spring-action folding ones near the  door), you balanced on one foot–despite the 40 ounces of bland lager coursing through your bloodstream–and raised the seat with your toe.

As you departed, there was nary a sign that a person had inhabited the seat. I assume the gap between the train and the platform was a non-issue for you, because the train was off in a matter of seconds.

Sir, as the MTA frets about the behavior of those consuming a drink or two on the train, I consider you a shining example of one who can enjoy an adult beverage–or three–while still being a discreet and fully functional member of Metro-North society.

Bravo.

–Trainjotting

PS: We’re a little concerned about all the drinking though.

There’s quite a lively discourse going on at Gawker, stemming from their posting of the Times article announcing that riders will continue to be able to consume potent potables on the train. Predictably, it devolves into a pissing match between the city and the ‘burbs and the easy cliches representing both factions: Manhattan media elitists and Greenwich middle managers in Dockers.

One highlight:

For all those ragging on the [above] picture: this is what people whose jobs require them to put on pants in the morning look like. Get over it. Not everyone is lucky enough to be a bitter, unemployed “writer.”

Ladies and gentlemen, let out a collective exhale: according to a scoop from William Neuman in the Times, the consumption of the occasional (or even frequent!) alcoholic beverage will continue on Metro-North. 

Months ago, an MTA board member/ninny named Michael Pally suggested the MTA ban alcohol to safeguard the Authority from lawsuits levied by drunken passengers hurting themselves on their drive home from the train. But an overwhelmingly negative response from riders–and apparently zero support from his fellow board members–shot down Pally’s schoolmarmish notion.

Neuman mentions a “thick sheaf of petitions signed by what officials estimated were thousands of commuters” defending their right to drink. (Uh, how come no one asked me to sign?)

While I really haven’t seen any bad displays of drunken behavior on the trains in my seven months of riding, Neuman digs up some interesting stats. The cops issued 287 tickets on Metro-North and Long Island Railroad for drunken disturbances last year (I’ll bet my monthly mortgage payment the majority went to Strong Islanders), and there were 994 cases of people needing medical help on the train after drinking too much, though most of the drinking surely took place in the city before boarding the train.

Anyway, raise your Sam Adams or your airplane bottle of Chard in honor of the news, and throw your trusty platform barkeep–he of the 97% favorable review–a buck.

Your guest editor is of a geekier bent than your regular virtual conductor, so here’s my favorite train-related tech tip. Did you know that the MTA’s Web site contains its own version of the Big Board — the Grand Central Terminal departure info displayed on monitors around the station?

Of course you didn’t. That’s because the MTA’s Web site is designed as if its main aim is to hide information about the workings of our transit system from from al Qaeda.

It’s there though. Even better, it updates on its own in real time! Here’s the link:

http://as0.mta.info/mnr/html/bigboard.cfm

OK so that’s all well and good - but here’s the real tip. Take this post and email it to your favorite mobile device. Then click on the link above. If your handheld is cool enough (I know this works on a Treo at least, I don’t see why it shouldn’t work on a Blackberry as well) you’ll have your own personal Big Board that you can consult for track info as you approach the station. (Be sure to bookmark it for future reference.)

With this weapon in your commuting arsenal you’ll no longer need to weave through the the clot of amateurs staring blankly at the monitors as you bust through the terminal doors at 6:17:3o trying to make the 6:18. Instead you can run straight to the beer guy and hope there isn’t a line.

BOOZE IT OR LOSE IT \BOOZ iht or LOOZ iht\noun: The dilemma facing commuters about whether they have time to purchase a beer without risking missing their train.

Usage: Pondering the beer line with the 7:22 departing in less than a minute, Frank was faced with a Booze it or Lose it Situation.  

Mike tackles the grave issues facing commuters in today’s Metro NY paper (the free green one): http://ny.metro.us/metro/blog/my_view/entry/Life_liberty_and_a_cold_one/6626.html

Life, liberty and a cold one

my view by michael malone

> email this to a friend

JAN 23

As a Metropolitan Transportation Authority task force considers banning alcohol from commuter trains, I think of Samuel Adams. No, not the patriot who rallied the colonists against tyranny in Great Britain. I think of the bottle of beer I buy each Friday after work before boarding my train….