Sexual harrassment on the subway is on the rise, reports the NY Times’ City Room. The worst stretch of subway for the gropage is the 4-5-6 between Union Square and Grand Central, and the typical molester is a 39-year-old male.

The most common times for the molesting, reports City Room, are– not surprisingly–rush hours: 8-10 a.m. and 4-6 p.m.

(Full disclosure: That’s my stretch of subway, my age, and the hours I ride. But I am completely innocent.) 

The NYPD has arrested 412 people for subterranean sex offenses, and 587 such incidents have been reported, though Transit Bureau Police Chief James P. Hall told City Council the crimes are vastly under-reported.

NY Times commenter “carnap” has a suggestion for would-be victims:

“ Ladies: Just take a tiny step back with one foot and jam your stiletto heel into his toes. Whether or not you hit the perp, you’ll draw attention and be assured of a safer ride to your destination.”

Maybe this has been going on for a while, but I never noticed it before: Ads running the length of the downtown-bound 4 (or was it 5?) train out of Grand Central/42nd. The ads were for Monroe College and said things like “Watch the Opening Doors…Career Opportunities Await” or somesuch.

Oddly, the ads were positioned along the bottom 10-12 inches of the subway. So if there’s a huge enrollment influx of rats at Monroe College come fall, we’ll know the ad campaign has been successful.

We know Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez would never lie or even twist the truth around at all.

[Hold for laughter.]

But we have to call BS on something he said in his new profile in Details–the issue currently making headlines because of the various photos of A-Rod in self-loving poses that would make even Narcissus blush.

A-Rod says he’s a regular rider on the subway up to Yankee Stadium. The NY Post reports:

Despite being one of the most recognizable men in the city, A-Rod told Details - in an issue that hits newsstands a week from today - that he enjoys taking the subway to Yankee Stadium, usually on Fridays.

“For night games … the day to do it is a Friday, because traffic is horrible,” he said.

Here’s more from the Details cover story. Sounds a bit to me like your friend that goes to a funky jazz club one time, and makes it sound like he’s a regular there.

“Yeah. I have a hoodie on, but all it takes is one person and then you’re done. But it’s great. The fans get a kick out of it, I get a kick out of it. We talk about who’s pitching tonight, and what we need to do. It’s like being on sports radio.”

9:30 this morning, huge crowd heading down to the 4-5-6 trains under Grand Central.

There’s an ugly jam-up at the stairs. The 5 has just left, but it appears to have been several minutes since a 6 pulled in, and impatient would-be straphangers are massed on the platform, contributing to the bottleneck.

Then the jam’s true culprit becomes apparent. At the bottom of the stairs, a man sits. He’s got dreadlocks and a colorful pair of boxers, his jeans way, way below the waist level. He’s sleeping on the bottom step.

The man ahead of me, a stone-faced suit, hits the guy in the back of the head as he passes. I can’t say for sure it was intentional, but smart money says it was the sort of tap a hockey defenseman gives a forward who’s camped too close to the crease.

The slumbering fool is more or less something you see every day, until I realize what, other than the bright boxers, the man is wearing. It’s the blue pinny of one of those community associations–the men (and I presume women) who are hired to wear brightly colored pinnies and sweep streets, sidewalks and subway platforms.

After the day laborer took the shot to the head, he opened his eyes, looked around, and went back to sleep.

The 4 train came in last in on-time percentage in a NYC Transit study, coming in on-time just 70% of the time in May. Even more galling, that’s a nearly 12% drop from May of last year.

Overall, the subway system had an on-time average of 92% for the year.

Top of the heap for May were the M (99%), the J/Z and G (98%),  and the Q and W (97%).

Writes the NY Times:

At the Bowling Green station on Monday, riders let out gasps of frustration and amusement when a station agent’s voice came over the intercom. Because of a stalled train at 59th Street, the agent said, their train would be delayed “16 to 30 hours.”

Riders were relieved when the train started moving about six minutes later.