I always kept this quip in my quiver–I would be boarding a packed train 30 seconds before departure, as I do
most every day, and would be searching for a seat.
I stand there, making it clear I need them to move the bag, and am not about to ask.
They do so grudgingly. They grumble.
Then the quip is delivered:
“If you’ve got a ticket for that bag too,” I say smugly, “he can stay on the seat.”
Well, a conductor beat me to it on the 5:27 last night.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” went the evening benediction, “if you wish to pay the on board fare, you can keep your baggages (yes, it was the plural) on the seat.
“Otherwise, take them off.”
Well said, sir.