On this historic day where we say good bye to the big, clunky analog TVs of yore, I’d like to salute a broadcast monstrosity I pass each day en route to the train. The good folks on Broad Street, just south of Pythian, attempted to sneak a 300-pound TV in a giant wooden case past the garbage men a few weeks ago. You remember those old wooden furniture TVs — carved wood immeubles with a mammoth TV screen baked into the middle.
Sitting atop the mountain of television is a remote the size of a Tom Clancy paperback. It was nice of them to leave the remote where all could see it, so that someone in need of a new…new to them, at least…TV could load both the TV and the remote into their 18 foot U-Haul.
So the homeowners attempted to throw the thing out in mid to late May, despite the fact that you can’t simply throw out a television, as the toxic chemicals buried within it seep into the water supply and do damage to the poor children of China.
Perhaps the discarders were not aware of that rule. But then there’s the conundrum of what to do with it now. They probably conscripted a small army of iron-backed volunteers to schlep the thing out to the end of the driveway; can they really assemble such a dream team again to lug it back to the house? Surely it would just be easier to let it sit…and rot…and hopefully disappear.
Perhaps I can speed things along by donning my best wifebeater t-shirt, rolling my favorite La-Z-Boy and ottoman over to the front of the house, and cracking open a Bud in front of the thing while pretending to watch Mets-Yanks on it.
[image craftycrafty.tv]