I got nothin’ today, but fortunately Conductor Bobby’s got some great tales from the rails, including the “proud member of the Greenwich Country Club” who took a giant dump on one of his trains.
In other words, welcome back to work.
While walking down the platform I run into Paul, a fellow conductor who yards my equipment. Paul seems annoyed with me. He is from Queens and he peppers his language with colorful expletives.
Paul: Did you leave that fat gray haired F–K on the train yesterday?
Me: You mean “The Greenwich Country Club Member?”
Paul: You know what that F–K did? Huh?
Me: No, but I have a feeling you’re going to tell me.
Paul: That fat F–K put newspapers on one of the seats and took a big sh-t.
Me: Oooohhh!!!