I got nothin’ today, but fortunately Conductor Bobby’s got some great tales from the rails, including the “proud member of the Greenwich Country Club” who took a giant dump on one of his trains.

In other words, welcome back to work.

While walking down the platform I run into Paul, a fellow conductor who yards my equipment. Paul seems annoyed with me. He is from Queens and he peppers his language with colorful expletives.

Paul: Did you leave that fat gray haired F–K on the train yesterday?

Me: You mean “The Greenwich Country Club Member?”

Paul: You know what that F–K did? Huh?

Me: No, but I have a feeling you’re going to tell me.

Paul: That fat F–K put newspapers on one of the seats and took a big sh-t.

Me: Oooohhh!!!