Calling for an emergency meeting yesterday to address the ridiculous numberĀ of LIRR retirees living on fat disability pensions, LIRR president Helena Williams announcedĀ the creation of an “internal compliance unit…to work more closely with the federal government; additional ethics training for managers and union employees,” and help from Congress in the form of reform legislation.

Regarding “ethics training,” all LIRR employees will receive training geared towards “stressing the obligation of all LIRR employees as public servants to safeguard public funds and to comply with both the letter and spirit of the law” regarding disability. In short, don’t claim a sore back if your back isn’t really, truly sore.

The compliance unit will “act as a watchdog,” said Williams, and will review all correspondence from the U.S. Railroad Retirement Board, which had signed off on all the dodgy disability claims.

Williams also encouraged all Dudley Dorights to use the MTA Inspector General’s toll free number to blow the whistle on fraudulent coworkers.