What to Call Metro-North’s Five-Headed Love Monster

Reader MightyQuinn wants to know what to call the icky “straddling” phenomenon that involves complete strangers rubbing knees and inner thighs together as they squeeze into opposing seats in Metro-North’s five-seaters.

Great question. I’ve thought of this myself and have not been able to come up with a good Word of the Week for it (For-knee-cation? The Patella Rhumba?). Maybe I could think of one today if I wasn’t so wrecked from spending late nights in Grand Central.

Dear readers?

Quinn writes:

I am fascinated by what I call the “straddling” phenomenon, and am wondering if you have addressed it in your ‘word of the week’. If so, I am sure you have a better name for it.
 
‘Straddling’ occurs in the oppositely-facing bench seats, I think they’re 5-seaters.
This awkward situation arises for example when the 5-seaters are full and the riders facing each other have to decide what to do with their knees. There are a few options, the first most awkward and apparently most popular one: one person widens his legs while the opposite person clinches his or her legs together to fit in between the straddler’s.

Option 2: both people split their legs, each person’s knee alternating

Option 3: both people keep their knees together and angle in opposite directions.
 
I understand this decision like other seating decisions are ride-long commitments that have to be made in a split second, but the fact that people willingly do this fascinates me.  I prefer the non-straddle knee-clenching option, but avoid the 5-seaters altogether.

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3 Responses to What to Call Metro-North’s Five-Headed Love Monster

  1. jersey jim says:

    “KNEE-KNOTTING”?

    usually see option 3 on NJT, since mostly long-legged folks grab the 5-seater, and hope that nobody sits across from them. But on a crowded train, shyness is often trumped by a soft seat.

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