Manhattan’s “largest circulation daily”…also known as…wait for it…AM NY, tackles the issue of the MTA locking subway station bathrooms overnight in its “P’d Off” cover story today.

Matthew Sweeney reports that NYC Transit has locked up 78 public subway restrooms between midnight and 5 a.m. to make way for cleaners, much to the consternation of club goers and graveyard shifters alike.

“Where do I go now? Wet my pants?” asked one “distressed” Long Island ironworker named Herby Campbell. (For the record, Herby, “wet my pants” is not a place to go. Perhaps “What do I do now?” might’ve been the better comment. But we realize you had more pressing matters on the brain/bladder.)

Of course, the knee-jerk reaction to this news is, who the hell would use a restroom in a subway station after midnight? In fact a lot of people would, especially that one can now feel relatively safe being drunk on a subway at 3 in the morning.

My second reaction is, which subway stations actually had restrooms open to the public? I can picture one (particularly filthy) one at 34th Street/Herald Square, but cannot think of a single other station that’s ever invited me to pee (though I reckon most of them are in the outer-boroughs to accommodate riders after long journeys).