Forgot your monthly pass, didn’t ya. Dumbass.
Here are five pointers to help you remember next year.
1. Staple new monthly pass to forehead the night before. (May not work if you sleep on your stomach)
2. Buy the $2.57 million Metro-North gold-plated Lifetime pass.
3. Snap a digital photo of it and upload it to your iPod a few days before.
4. Find out who your conductor will be the morning of the first day back, sneak into his home in the middle of the night, pull him from his slumber and grease his palm with a twenty.
5. Have the January monthly pass tattooed to your chest, like the guy in Prison Break.
