It being the season of dressing up and scaring the shit out of people and all, I’ve found myself thinking about the Metro-North drag queen more than I’d care to admit.

And I’ve come up with a hypothesis. I’ve seen the drag queen on the Harlem Line and I’ve seen him on the New Haven Line. And neither time did he exit the train at any locale that might logically have a fun nightlife destination for a transsexual, instead staying on to the part of Westchester where white people go to bed early.

So here’s my theory: The drag queen, a 6′ 5″, black behemoth that the conductors know as “Rocky,” isn’t really going anywhere. Instead he just rides the train for shock value, and what better place to shock people with your mesh minidresses, tights with the ass cut out, and thousand-inch stiletto heels than on a train packed with uptight white guys?

My first post about the drag queen, which generated the traffic I normally get in a week (thanks, Gothamist!), brought out several comments from people who had seen Rocky get off in Bridgeport, in Croton Falls, in Bronxville–none of them anywhere near each other.

So I’m postulating that the drag queen gets on the train, brushes his blonde wig in the vestibule–for all to see–rides to the end of the line, and then rides back again, for full effect.

Then again, if he’s getting off at all sorts of different stops, he could be doing, shall we say, contract work. Maybe those white people aren’t going to bed as early as we thought!