“Talking Transportation” columnist Jim Cameron details two truly dreadful Metro-North rides in the recent past in Westport Now. (Lead story in Westport Now today: “Person of Color Seen at Pier One.”)

Both trips from hell appear to have happened on one of those Metro-North offshoot spurs, as in, not on the main New Haven line. A three-car train heading from Stamford to New Haven saw its engine give out, which spelled a two hour, fifteen minute delay for riders, with nary a word of communication from anyone in blue.

Finally, in a scene straight out of Snakes in a Plane, one angry rider got on the loudspeaker and yelled “Does anybody know what’s going on?”

The driver was later found cowering in his booth.

And just last week, a trip from Stamford to Danbury starred the Little Engine That Couldn’t. Several times, Cameron writes, the train tried to chug its way up a hill, but thanks to the wet leaves on the rails, repeatedly failed.

The train stopped in Branchville, where riders waited a full hour and 45 minutes for a lone bus. As that filled up, another 100 or so riders remained, waiting another half an hour–in the rain–for another bus.

Again, riders say, there was nary a word of communication.

Again, the lone Metro-North rep was locked in his cubby.