Have a Magical Day! 

I can’t say I’m rested.

 Six days in Disney World is not restful. But I was amazed at how much time and energy has been put into transporting people with mouse ears on their heads from one place to another.  

Disney is 43 square miles – twice as large as Manhattan – and holds four major league theme parks, two water parks, two nighttime-entertainment areas, a sports complex, six golf courses, 34 hotels, hundreds of restaurants, a shopping complex, three convention venues, a nature preserve, and a campground.

 

The Disney bus system is the web, along with the famous monorail and a web of canals and water-buses, that connects the pieces of the puzzle. We stayed at the Animal Kingdom Lodge – one of the newest resorts, with no monorail connection, so the bus system was our key to the kingdoms of Disney. 

Five things I hate about the Disney World bus transportation system: 

1. You can never escape waiting on line and the bus system is no exception. The
New York subway rocks because I never have to wait on line. And, when there’s a crowd we don’t line up in an orderly fashion, we just cram forward and yell at people inside. “Make room, dammit!”

2. The seats are cold. I know it makes sense to have the AC powered up and frosting everything in sight in steamy Orlando, but outside there’s no AC and we’re in shorts and sticky t-shirts. We step inside the bus and cool off, sure, but you sit down on the frozen seat where your shorts don’t touch and it’s no longer a comfortable experience. It’s vacation — I want comfort.

3. The bus from the Kingdom (Magical or Animal or any other you happen to be at) always pulls away just as you arrive, out of breath from running to catch it. The next bus is at least twenty minutes away and there’s no way around the waiting in line again. (See number one.) 

4. Everybody is so nice. I’m a New Yorker, for Chrissakes. Even the transplanted New Yorkers seem to be nice. What’s up with that? Has the sun roasted the mean and nasty out of them? Don’t they know New Yorkers have a reputation to uphold?

5. The bus drivers all say, “Have a magical day,” as you leave the bus. Imagine a subway conductor using that line. Really, try.

–Joe Lunievicz