Retired men in orange vests were on board the 8:16 this morning, handing out golf pencils and the long-awaited Metro-North 2007 Travel Survey. “Metro-North Railroad would like to know more about how you travel and use our commuter rail system,” went the copy, which was bereft of any of the sly wit found in Mileposts.

A series of 36 questions followed, regarding how you get to the station, how often you use the train, and what other public transportation you take in addition to Metro-North.

There’s also a section asking for personal info, such as whether you’re Hispanic and what line of work you’re in (”Material Moving” was among my favorite categories).

The questionnaire didn’t ask a single question about what riders actually think of the service, regarding punctuality, cleanliness, or when the f*&# Metro-North finally sets up a no-cellphone car. I guess that survey comes at a later time.