20-something woman in camouflage skirt, cellphone to ear from 125th to North White Plains last Friday.

“You’re gonna, like, have to, like, take a train next time so you can, like, get shitfaced…”

“She’s got, like, four brothers and four sisters and, like, all of them are, like, drop-dead gorgeous. And her dad is hot. So is her mom. Her sister is, like, a model. Like, jet-black hair and, like, deep blue eyes.”

“Did you guys, like, lie in bed next to each other? Oh no. You’re like, so gonna leave her.”