It’s my spot.

I don’t care which car I’m on, or which line I’m traveling. If there’s no seat, the space blocking the door is mine.  

You’ll note I say blocking and don’t pussy-foot around what I’m doing. I know I’m blocking the door. I know I’m not supposed to lean against the door. I know that people get annoyed with me sometimes because I’m blocking the door and leaning against it, and they have to get past me in order to either enter or leave.

Please note that I do move over and scrunch myself against the side panel that protects the rider on the end of the bench so that you, dear straphanger, can exit past me. I’m not a complete idiot – just a partial one.

But here’s the thing. I don’t like standing next to the center pole because I usually end up crashing into it at least once during the ride due to the infamous subway jolt (was that a rat we just ran over?), or the pressure of another passenger leaning on me, making me get closer to the stainless steel than I’d like to be just in order to get away from human contact. I don’t like the overhead poles in front of the benches because, with my arms up in the air holding onto the pole I feel like all the smug seated passengers are staring at my crotch – even if they’re reading a paper it still feels like it’s crotch-staring to me.

I don’t like to stand in the center of the car between the doors because no matter how you try to stand or how good your balance is, sooner or later the car will jerk to one side or the other and you will go down in the most graceless way imaginable, usually onto someone’s lap. In front of the conductor’s door doesn’t work either because you know that moment you lean against his sacred space, he’ll have to exit and toss you aside, sending you back to the overhead bars and further crotch staring. 

So what’s so great about standing in front of the doors? 1) I can lean against them, 2) I can therefore read a book with two hands – not something to be looked down upon if you take your subway reading time seriously, 3) I have more personal space (see crotch staring, above), and 4) I can place my bag beneath my feet (note: I can do this anywhere in the car but in the middle of the car people feet step on your bag and push against it, while against the door I can protect its cargo from the rear).

Just how important is this? On the subway during rush-hour, when personal space is measured in centimeters, and a smile is pretty hard to come by – it’s worth its weight in tokens…even if they are obsolete. 

–Joe Lunievicz